I had to do something today and it didn’t turn out like I expected. It didn’t go well, but I know I did the right thing. After being upset for a minute the Lord gave me peace and in return my heart has leapt to sing His praise and thanks. Please join me in worshiping with these two great hymns of the faith. (I don’t know the tune to the first, but I thought just reading the words was full of worship.)
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O for a thousand tongues to sing
1. O for a thousand tongues to sing
my great Redeemer's praise,
the glories of my God and King,
the triumphs of his grace!
2. My gracious Master and my God,
assist me to proclaim,
to spread through all the earth abroad
the honors of thy name.
3. Jesus! the name that charms our fears,
that bids our sorrows cease;
'tis music in the sinner's ears,
'tis life, and health, and peace.
4. He breaks the power of canceled sin,
he sets the prisoner free;
his blood can make the foulest clean;
his blood availed for me.
5. He speaks, and listening to his voice,
new life the dead receive;
the mournful, broken hearts rejoice,
the humble poor believe.
6. Hear him, ye deaf; his praise, ye dumb,
your loosened tongues employ;
ye blind, behold your savior come,
and leap, ye lame, for joy.
7. In Christ, your head, you then shall know,
shall feel your sins forgiven;
anticipate your heaven below,
and own that love is heaven.
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It is well with my soul
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Refrain
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
Refrain
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
Refrain
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
Refrain
But, Lord, ‘tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh trump of the angel! Oh voice of the Lord!
Blessèd hope, blessèd rest of my soul!
Refrain
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
Refrain
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Okay so I also ask for a prayer request as we end this time of prayer. A friend got onto me tonight about making jokes belittling myself. I say them in jest, but I think she had a point so I am going to stop saying them. Please pray for me in this because it has become very natural and I usually don’t even realize I am doing it.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Strange Convictions
So I have recently realized that I have some really strange convictions compared to most of my peers. The majority of these have to do with relationships and specifically marriage. Now these convictions have only really come about in the last few years as I dove into the Scriptures. Before I start writing about these I want to make clear that these are personal convictions of the Holy Spirit and I do not consider it a sin for others to take part in these particular practices, but I do believe it would be a sin for me to as I would go against my conscious and conviction of the Holy Spirit.
The first is that of kissing. I really want my first kiss to be on my wedding day. I believe the most intimate joining between a man and a woman is that of two lips touching. This is the first and most important meeting two souls joined together. This joining in marriage is not merely a contract, but a testimony and picture of the bride of Christ. It seems that if this picture is to remain pure we cannot go around kissing every other “god” around. As I said this is a personal conviction of mine.
The second conviction is that pertaining to contraceptives. I know, strange blog topic. I hold to the belief that contraceptives are a useless waste. Most of you out there will agree that if God wants to give you children He will not be stopped by contraceptives, but strangely enough you also believe that by using them God will be forced to give you more children than He intended. I hold to the belief that if children are a gift from God then why should we bother trying to prevent these blessings? If God has a set number of blessings to give us then it does not seem fisable to spend money trying to stop that process. I know the argument is “But God gave you common sense not have kids that you cannot support.” First off we do not support anything. God is the provider and if He gives us a gift it is His to provide. Secondly, if God is giving you the kids He wants you to have then why is a condom, etc. going to change His blessings. I believe it also important to make the comment while many children are born out of unholy relations this does not make the child any less a gift from God. We can not base our view off of experience over the Word of God. As I said before this is a personal conviction and not one that should necessarily be taught in our churches. You should all waste as much money on contraceptives as you like (jk).
I write this because I think it is an interesting topic of conversation that shows the various convictions of Christians. I think it gives insight to our thoughts about God as well. Hey, what do I know, I’m just a lowly sinner saved by grace.
The first is that of kissing. I really want my first kiss to be on my wedding day. I believe the most intimate joining between a man and a woman is that of two lips touching. This is the first and most important meeting two souls joined together. This joining in marriage is not merely a contract, but a testimony and picture of the bride of Christ. It seems that if this picture is to remain pure we cannot go around kissing every other “god” around. As I said this is a personal conviction of mine.
The second conviction is that pertaining to contraceptives. I know, strange blog topic. I hold to the belief that contraceptives are a useless waste. Most of you out there will agree that if God wants to give you children He will not be stopped by contraceptives, but strangely enough you also believe that by using them God will be forced to give you more children than He intended. I hold to the belief that if children are a gift from God then why should we bother trying to prevent these blessings? If God has a set number of blessings to give us then it does not seem fisable to spend money trying to stop that process. I know the argument is “But God gave you common sense not have kids that you cannot support.” First off we do not support anything. God is the provider and if He gives us a gift it is His to provide. Secondly, if God is giving you the kids He wants you to have then why is a condom, etc. going to change His blessings. I believe it also important to make the comment while many children are born out of unholy relations this does not make the child any less a gift from God. We can not base our view off of experience over the Word of God. As I said before this is a personal conviction and not one that should necessarily be taught in our churches. You should all waste as much money on contraceptives as you like (jk).
I write this because I think it is an interesting topic of conversation that shows the various convictions of Christians. I think it gives insight to our thoughts about God as well. Hey, what do I know, I’m just a lowly sinner saved by grace.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
A Defense of Calvinism
"The old truth that Calvin preached, that Augustine preached, that Paul preached, is the truth that I must preach to-day, or else be false to my conscience and my God. I cannot shape the truth; I know of no such thing as paring off the rough edges of a doctrine. John Knox's gospel is my gospel. That which thundered through Scotland must thunder through England again."—C. H. Spurgeon
It is a great thing to begin the Christian life by believing good solid doctrine. Some people have received twenty different "gospels" in as many years; how many more they will accept before they get to their journey's end, it would be difficult to predict. I thank God that He early taught me the gospel, and I have been so perfectly satisfied with it, that I do not want to know any other. Constant change of creed is sure loss. If a tree has to be taken up two or three times a year, you will not need to build a very large loft in which to store the apples. When people are always shifting their doctrinal principles, they are not likely to bring forth much fruit to the glory of God. It is good for young believers to begin with a firm hold upon those great fundamental doctrines which the Lord has taught in His Word. Why, if I believed what some preach about the temporary, trumpery salvation which only lasts for a time, I would scarcely be at all grateful for it; but when I know that those whom God saves He saves with an everlasting salvation, when I know that He gives to them an everlasting righteousness, when I know that He settles them on an everlasting foundation of everlasting love, and that He will bring them to His everlasting kingdom, oh, then I do wonder, and I am astonished that such a blessing as this should ever have been given to me!
"Pause, my soul! adore, and wonder!Ask, 'Oh, why such love to me?'Grace hath put me in the numberOf the Saviour's family:Hallelujah!Thanks, eternal thanks, to Thee!"I suppose there are some persons whose minds naturally incline towards the doctrine of free-will. I can only say that mine inclines as naturally towards the doctrines of sovereign grace. Sometimes, when I see some of the worst characters in the street, I feel as if my heart must burst forth in tears of gratitude that God has never let me act as they have done! I have thought, if God had left me alone, and had not touched me by His grace, what a great sinner I should have been! I should have run to the utmost lengths of sin, dived into the very depths of evil, nor should I have stopped at any vice or folly, if God had not restrained me. I feel that I should have been a very king of sinners, if God had let me alone. I cannot understand the reason why I am saved, except upon the ground that God would have it so. I cannot, if I look ever so earnestly, discover any kind of reason in myself why I should be a partaker of Divine grace. If I am not at this moment without Christ, it is only because Christ Jesus would have His will with me, and that will was that I should be with Him where He is, and should share His glory. I can put the crown nowhere but upon the head of Him whose mighty grace has saved me from going down into the pit. Looking back on my past life, I can see that the dawning of it all was of God; of God effectively. I took no torch with which to light the sun, but the sun enlightened me. I did not commence my spiritual life—no, I rather kicked, and struggled against the things of the Spirit: when He drew me, for a time I did not run after Him: there was a natural hatred in my soul of everything holy and good. Wooings were lost upon me—warnings were cast to the wind—thunders were despised; and as for the whispers of His love, they were rejected as being less than nothing and vanity. But, sure I am, I can say now, speaking on behalf of myself, "He only is my salvation." It was He who turned my heart, and brought me down on my knees before Him. I can in very deed, say with Doddridge and Toplady—
"Grace taught my soul to pray,And made my eyes o'erflow;"and coming to this moment, I can add—
"'Tis grace has kept me to this day,And will not let me go."Well can I remember the manner in which I learned the doctrines of grace in a single instant. Born, as all of us are by nature, an Arminian, I still believed the old things I had heard continually from the pulpit, and did not see the grace of God. When I was coming to Christ, I thought I was doing it all myself, and though I sought the Lord earnestly, I had no idea the Lord was seeking me. I do not think the young convert is at first aware of this. I can recall the very day and hour when first I received those truths in my own soul—when they were, as John Bunyan says, burnt into my heart as with a hot iron, and I can recollect how I felt that I had grown on a sudden from a babe into a man—that I had made progress in Scriptural knowledge, through having found, once for all, the clue to the truth of God. One week-night, when I was sitting in the house of God, I was not thinking much about the preacher's sermon, for I did not believe it. The thought struck me, How did you come to be a Christian? I sought the Lord. But how did you come to seek the Lord? The truth flashed across my mind in a moment—I should not have sought Him unless there had been some previous influence in my mind to make me seek Him. I prayed, thought I, but then I asked myself, How came I to pray? I was induced to pray by reading the Scriptures. How came I to read the Scriptures? I did read them, but what led me to do so? Then, in a moment, I saw that God was at the bottom of it all, and that He was the Author of my faith, and so the whole doctrine of grace opened up to me, and from that doctrine I have not departed to this day, and I desire to make this my constant confession, "I ascribe my change wholly to God."I once attended a service where the text happened to be, "He shall choose our inheritance for us;" and the good man who occupied the pulpit was more than a little of an Arminian. Therefore, when he commenced, he said, "This passage refers entirely to our temporal inheritance, it has nothing whatever to do with our everlasting destiny, for," said he, "we do not want Christ to choose for us in the matter of Heaven or hell. It is so plain and easy, that every man who has a grain of common sense will choose Heaven, and any person would know better than to choose hell. We have no need of any superior intelligence, or any greater Being, to choose Heaven or hell for us. It is left to our own free-will, and we have enough wisdom given us, sufficiently correct means to judge for ourselves," and therefore, as he very logically inferred, there was no necessity for Jesus Christ, or anyone, to make a choice for us. We could choose the inheritance for ourselves without any assistance. "Ah!" I thought, "but, my good brother, it may be very true that we could, but I think we should want something more than common sense before we should choose aright."First, let me ask, must we not all of us admit an over-ruling Providence, and the appointment of Jehovah's hand, as to the means whereby we came into this world? Those men who think that, afterwards, we are left to our own free-will to choose this one or the other to direct our steps, must admit that our entrance into the world was not of our own will, but that God had then to choose for us. What circumstances were those in our power which led us to elect certain persons to be our parents? Had we anything to do with it? Did not God Himself appoint our parents, native place, and friends? Could He not have caused me to be born with the skin of the Hottentot, brought forth by a filthy mother who would nurse me in her "kraal," and teach me to bow down to Pagan gods, quite as easily as to have given me a pious mother, who would each morning and night bend her knee in prayer on my behalf? Or, might He not, if He had pleased, have given me some profligate to have been my parent, from whose lips I might have early heard fearful, filthy, and obscene language? Might He not have placed me where I should have had a drunken father, who would have immured me in a very dungeon of ignorance, and brought me up in the chains of crime? Was it not God's Providence that I had so happy a lot, that both my parents were His children, and endeavoured to train me up in the fear of the Lord?John Newton used to tell a whimsical story, and laugh at it, too, of a good woman who said, in order to prove the doctrine of election, "Ah! sir, the Lord must have loved me before I was born, or else He would not have seen anything in me to love afterwards." I am sure it is true in my case; I believe the doctrine of election, because I am quite certain that, if God had not chosen me, I should never have chosen Him; and I am sure He chose me before I was born, or else He never would have chosen me afterwards; and He must have elected me for reasons unknown to me, for I never could find any reason in myself why He should have looked upon me with special love. So I am forced to accept that great Biblical doctrine. I recollect an Arminian brother telling me that he had read the Scriptures through a score or more times, and could never find the doctrine of election in them. He added that he was sure he would have done so if it had been there, for he read the Word on his knees. I said to him, "I think you read the Bible in a very uncomfortable posture, and if you had read it in your easy chair, you would have been more likely to understand it. Pray, by all means, and the more, the better, but it is a piece of superstition to think there is anything in the posture in which a man puts himself for reading: and as to reading through the Bible twenty times without having found anything about the doctrine of election, the wonder is that you found anything at all: you must have galloped through it at such a rate that you were not likely to have any intelligible idea of the meaning of the Scriptures."If it would be marvelous to see one river leap up from the earth full-grown, what would it be to gaze upon a vast spring from which all the rivers of the earth should at once come bubbling up, a million of them born at a birth? What a vision would it be! Who can conceive it. And yet the love of God is that fountain, from which all the rivers of mercy, which have ever gladdened our race—all the rivers of grace in time, and of glory hereafter—take their rise. My soul, stand thou at that sacred fountain-head, and adore and magnify, for ever and ever, God, even our Father, who hath loved us! In the very beginning, when this great universe lay in the mind of God, like unborn forests in the acorn cup; long ere the echoes awoke the solitudes; before the mountains were brought forth; and long ere the light flashed through the sky, God loved His chosen creatures. Before there was any created being—when the ether was not fanned by an angel's wing, when space itself had not an existence, when there was nothing save God alone—even then, in that loneliness of Deity, and in that deep quiet and profundity, His bowels moved with love for His chosen. Their names were written on His heart, and then were they dear to His soul. Jesus loved His people before the foundation of the world—even from eternity! and when He called me by His grace, He said to me, "I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee."Then, in the fulness of time, He purchased me with His blood; He let His heart run out in one deep gaping wound for me long ere I loved Him. Yea, when He first came to me, did I not spurn Him? When He knocked at the door, and asked for entrance, did I not drive Him away, and do despite to His grace? Ah, I can remember that I full often did so until, at last, by the power of His effectual grace, He said, "I must, I will come in;" and then He turned my heart, and made me love Him. But even till now I should have resisted Him, had it not been for His grace. Well, then since He purchased me when I was dead in sins, does it not follow, as a consequence necessary and logical, that He must have loved me first? Did my Saviour die for me because I believed on Him? No; I was not then in existence; I had then no being. Could the Saviour, therefore, have died because I had faith, when I myself was not yet born? Could that have been possible? Could that have been the origin of the Saviour's love towards me? Oh! no; my Saviour died for me long before I believed. "But," says someone, "He foresaw that you would have faith; and, therefore, He loved you." What did He foresee about my faith? Did He foresee that I should get that faith myself, and that I should believe on Him of myself? No; Christ could not foresee that, because no Christian man will ever say that faith came of itself without the gift and without the working of the Holy Spirit. I have met with a great many believers, and talked with them about this matter; but I never knew one who could put his hand on his heart, and say, "I believed in Jesus without the assistance of the Holy Spirit."I am bound to the doctrine of the depravity of the human heart, because I find myself depraved in heart, and have daily proofs that in my flesh there dwelleth no good thing. If God enters into covenant with unfallen man, man is so insignificant a creature that it must be an act of gracious condescension on the Lord's part; but if God enters into covenant with sinful man, he is then so offensive a creature that it must be, on God's part, an act of pure, free, rich, sovereign grace. When the Lord entered into covenant with me, I am sure that it was all of grace, nothing else but grace. When I remember what a den of unclean beasts and birds my heart was, and how strong was my unrenewed will, how obstinate and rebellious against the sovereignty of the Divine rule, I always feel inclined to take the very lowest room in my Father's house, and when I enter Heaven, it will be to go among the less than the least of all saints, and with the chief of sinners.The late lamented Mr. Denham has put, at the foot of his portrait, a most admirable text, "Salvation is of the Lord." That is just an epitome of Calvinism; it is the sum and substance of it. If anyone should ask me what I mean by a Calvinist, I should reply, "He is one who says, Salvation is of the Lord." I cannot find in Scripture any other doctrine than this. It is the essence of the Bible. "He only is my rock and my salvation." Tell me anything contrary to this truth, and it will be a heresy; tell me a heresy, and I shall find its essence here, that it has departed from this great, this fundamental, this rock-truth, "God is my rock and my salvation." What is the heresy of Rome, but the addition of something to the perfect merits of Jesus Christ—the bringing in of the works of the flesh, to assist in our justification? And what is the heresy of Arminianism but the addition of something to the work of the Redeemer? Every heresy, if brought to the touchstone, will discover itself here. I have my own private opinion that there is no such thing as preaching Christ and Him crucified, unless we preach what nowadays is called Calvinism. It is a nickname to call it Calvinism; Calvinism is the gospel, and nothing else. I do not believe we can preach the gospel, if we do not preach justification by faith, without works; nor unless we preach the sovereignty of God in His dispensation of grace; nor unless we exalt the electing, unchangeable, eternal, immutable, conquering love of Jehovah; nor do I think we can preach the gospel, unless we base it upon the special and particular redemption of His elect and chosen people which Christ wrought out upon the cross; nor can I comprehend a gospel which lets saints fall away after they are called, and suffers the children of God to be burned in the fires of damnation after having once believed in Jesus. Such a gospel I abhor.
"If ever it should come to pass,That sheep of Christ might fall away,My fickle, feeble soul, alas!Would fall a thousand times a day."If one dear saint of God had perished, so might all; if one of the covenant ones be lost, so may all be; and then there is no gospel promise true, but the Bible is a lie, and there is nothing in it worth my acceptance. I will be an infidel at once when I can believe that a saint of God can ever fall finally. If God hath loved me once, then He will love me for ever. God has a master-mind; He arranged everything in His gigantic intellect long before He did it; and once having settled it, He never alters it, "This shall be done," saith He, and the iron hand of destiny marks it down, and it is brought to pass. "This is My purpose," and it stands, nor can earth or hell alter it. "This is My decree," saith He, "promulgate it, ye holy angels; rend it down from the gate of Heaven, ye devils, if ye can; but ye cannot alter the decree, it shall stand for ever." God altereth not His plans; why should He? He is Almighty, and therefore can perform His pleasure. Why should He? He is the All-wise, and therefore cannot have planned wrongly. Why should He? He is the everlasting God, and therefore cannot die before His plan is accomplished. Why should He change? Ye worthless atoms of earth, ephemera of a day, ye creeping insects upon this bay-leaf of existence, ye may change your plans, but He shall never, never change His. Has He told me that His plan is to save me? If so, I am for ever safe.
"My name from the palms of His handsEternity will not erase;Impress'd on His heart it remains,In marks of indelible grace."I do not know how some people, who believe that a Christian can fall from grace, manage to be happy. It must be a very commendable thing in them to be able to get through a day without despair. If I did not believe the doctrine of the final perseverance of the saints, I think I should be of all men the most miserable, because I should lack any ground of comfort. I could not say, whatever state of heart I came into, that I should be like a well-spring of water, whose stream fails not; I should rather have to take the comparison of an intermittent spring, that might stop on a sudden, or a reservoir, which I had no reason to expect would always be full. I believe that the happiest of Christians and the truest of Christians are those who never dare to doubt God, but who take His Word simply as it stands, and believe it, and ask no questions, just feeling assured that if God has said it, it will be so. I bear my willing testimony that I have no reason, nor even the shadow of a reason, to doubt my Lord, and I challenge Heaven, and earth, and hell, to bring any proof that God is untrue. From the depths of hell I call the fiends, and from this earth I call the tried and afflicted believers, and to Heaven I appeal, and challenge the long experience of the blood-washed host, and there is not to be found in the three realms a single person who can bear witness to one fact which can disprove the faithfulness of God, or weaken His claim to be trusted by His servants. There are many things that may or may not happen, but this I know shall happen—
"He shall present my soul,Unblemish'd and complete,Before the glory of His face,With joys divinely great."All the purposes of man have been defeated, but not the purposes of God. The promises of man may be broken—many of them are made to be broken—but the promises of God shall all be fulfilled. He is a promise-maker, but He never was a promise-breaker; He is a promise-keeping God, and every one of His people shall prove it to be so. This is my grateful, personal confidence, "The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me"—unworthy me, lost and ruined me. He will yet save me; and—
"I, among the blood-wash'd throng,Shall wave the palm, and wear the crown,And shout loud victory."I go to a land which the plough of earth hath never upturned, where it is greener than earth's best pastures, and richer than her most abundant harvests ever saw. I go to a building of more gorgeous architecture than man hath ever builded; it is not of mortal design; it is "a building of God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the Heavens." All I shall know and enjoy in Heaven, will be given to me by the Lord, and I shall say, when at last I appear before Him—
"Grace all the work shall crownThrough everlasting days;It lays in Heaven the topmost stone,And well deserves the praise."I know there are some who think it necessary to their system of theology to limit the merit of the blood of Jesus: if my theological system needed such a limitation, I would cast it to the winds. I cannot, I dare not allow the thought to find a lodging in my mind, it seems so near akin to blasphemy. In Christ's finished work I see an ocean of merit; my plummet finds no bottom, my eye discovers no shore. There must be sufficient efficacy in the blood of Christ, if God had so willed it, to have saved not only all in this world, but all in ten thousand worlds, had they transgressed their Maker's law. Once admit infinity into the matter, and limit is out of the question. Having a Divine Person for an offering, it is not consistent to conceive of limited value; bound and measure are terms inapplicable to the Divine sacrifice. The intent of the Divine purpose fixes the application of the infinite offering, but does not change it into a finite work. Think of the numbers upon whom God has bestowed His grace already. Think of the countless hosts in Heaven: if thou wert introduced there to-day, thou wouldst find it as easy to tell the stars, or the sands of the sea, as to count the multitudes that are before the throne even now. They have come from the East, and from the West, from the North, and from the South, and they are sitting down with Abraham, and with Isaac, and with Jacob in the Kingdom of God; and beside those in Heaven, think of the saved ones on earth. Blessed be God, His elect on earth are to be counted by millions, I believe, and the days are coming, brighter days than these, when there shall be multitudes upon multitudes brought to know the Saviour, and to rejoice in Him. The Father's love is not for a few only, but for an exceeding great company. "A great multitude, which no man could number," will be found in Heaven. A man can reckon up to very high figures; set to work your Newtons, your mightiest calculators, and they can count great numbers, but God and God alone can tell the multitude of His redeemed. I believe there will be more in Heaven than in hell. If anyone asks me why I think so, I answer, because Christ, in everything, is to "have the pre-eminence," and I cannot conceive how He could have the pre-eminence if there are to be more in the dominions of Satan than in Paradise. Moreover, I have never read that there is to be in hell a great multitude, which no man could number. I rejoice to know that the souls of all infants, as soon as they die, speed their way to Paradise. Think what a multitude there is of them! Then there are already in Heaven unnumbered myriads of the spirits of just men made perfect—the redeemed of all nations, and kindreds, and people, and tongues up till now; and there are better times coming, when the religion of Christ shall be universal; when—
"He shall reign from pole to pole,With illimitable sway;"when whole kingdoms shall bow down before Him, and nations shall be born in a day, and in the thousand years of the great millennial state there will be enough saved to make up all the deficiencies of the thousands of years that have gone before. Christ shall be Master everywhere, and His praise shall be sounded in every land. Christ shall have the pre-eminence at last; His train shall be far larger than that which shall attend the chariot of the grim monarch of hell.Some persons love the doctrine of universal atonement because they say, "It is so beautiful. It is a lovely idea that Christ should have died for all men; it commends itself," they say, "to the instincts of humanity; there is something in it full of joy and beauty." I admit there is, but beauty may be often associated with falsehood. There is much which I might admire in the theory of universal redemption, but I will just show what the supposition necessarily involves. If Christ on His cross intended to save every man, then He intended to save those who were lost before He died. If the doctrine be true, that He died for all men, then He died for some who were in hell before He came into this world, for doubtless there were even then myriads there who had been cast away because of their sins. Once again, if it was Christ's intention to save all men, how deplorably has He been disappointed, for we have His own testimony that there is a lake which burneth with fire and brimstone, and into that pit of woe have been cast some of the very persons who, according to the theory of universal redemption, were bought with His blood. That seems to me a conception a thousand times more repulsive than any of those consequences which are said to be associated with the Calvinistic and Christian doctrine of special and particular redemption. To think that my Saviour died for men who were or are in hell, seems a supposition too horrible for me to entertain. To imagine for a moment that He was the Substitute for all the sons of men, and that God, having first punished the Substitute, afterwards punished the sinners themselves, seems to conflict with all my ideas of Divine justice. That Christ should offer an atonement and satisfaction for the sins of all men, and that afterwards some of those very men should be punished for the sins for which Christ had already atoned, appears to me to be the most monstrous iniquity that could ever have been imputed to Saturn, to Janus, to the goddess of the Thugs, or to the most diabolical heathen deities. God forbid that we should ever think thus of Jehovah, the just and wise and good!There is no soul living who holds more firmly to the doctrines of grace than I do, and if any man asks me whether I am ashamed to be called a Calvinist, I answer—I wish to be called nothing but a Christian; but if you ask me, do I hold the doctrinal views which were held by John Calvin, I reply, I do in the main hold them, and rejoice to avow it. But far be it from me even to imagine that Zion contains none but Calvinistic Christians within her walls, or that there are none saved who do not hold our views. Most atrocious things have been spoken about the character and spiritual condition of John Wesley, the modern prince of Arminians. I can only say concerning him that, while I detest many of the doctrines which he preached, yet for the man himself I have a reverence second to no Wesleyan; and if there were wanted two apostles to be added to the number of the twelve, I do not believe that there could be found two men more fit to be so added than George Whitefield and John Wesley. The character of John Wesley stands beyond all imputation for self-sacrifice, zeal, holiness, and communion with God; he lived far above the ordinary level of common Christians, and was one "of whom the world was not worthy." I believe there are multitudes of men who cannot see these truths, or, at least, cannot see them in the way in which we put them, who nevertheless have received Christ as their Saviour, and are as dear to the heart of the God of grace as the soundest Calvinist in or out of Heaven.I do not think I differ from any of my Hyper-Calvinistic brethren in what I do believe, but I differ from them in what they do not believe. I do not hold any less than they do, but I hold a little more, and, I think, a little more of the truth revealed in the Scriptures. Not only are there a few cardinal doctrines, by which we can steer our ship North, South, East, or West, but as we study the Word, we shall begin to learn something about the North-west and North-east, and all else that lies between the four cardinal points. The system of truth revealed in the Scriptures is not simply one straight line, but two; and no man will ever get a right view of the gospel until he knows how to look at the two lines at once. For instance, I read in one Book of the Bible, "The Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely." Yet I am taught, in another part of the same inspired Word, that "it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy." I see, in one place, God in providence presiding over all, and yet I see, and I cannot help seeing, that man acts as he pleases, and that God has left his actions, in a great measure, to his own free-will. Now, if I were to declare that man was so free to act that there was no control of God over his actions, I should be driven very near to atheism; and if, on the other hand, I should declare that God so over-rules all things that man is not free enough to be responsible, I should be driven at once into Antinomianism or fatalism. That God predestines, and yet that man is responsible, are two facts that few can see clearly. They are believed to be inconsistent and contradictory to each other. If, then, I find taught in one part of the Bible that everything is fore-ordained, that is true; and if I find, in another Scripture, that man is responsible for all his actions, that is true; and it is only my folly that leads me to imagine that these two truths can ever contradict each other. I do not believe they can ever be welded into one upon any earthly anvil, but they certainly shall be one in eternity. They are two lines that are so nearly parallel, that the human mind which pursues them farthest will never discover that they converge, but they do converge, and they will meet somewhere in eternity, close to the throne of God, whence all truth doth spring.It is often said that the doctrines we believe have a tendency to lead us to sin. I have heard it asserted most positively, that those high doctrines which we love, and which we find in the Scriptures, are licentious ones. I do not know who will have the hardihood to make that assertion, when they consider that the holiest of men have been believers in them. I ask the man who dares to say that Calvinism is a licentious religion, what he thinks of the character of Augustine, or Calvin, or Whitefield, who in successive ages were the great exponents of the system of grace; or what will he say of the Puritans, whose works are full of them? Had a man been an Arminian in those days, he would have been accounted the vilest heretic breathing, but now we are looked upon as the heretics, and they as the orthodox. We have gone back to the old school; we can trace our descent from the apostles. It is that vein of free-grace, running through the sermonizing of Baptists, which has saved us as a denomination. Were it not for that, we should not stand where we are today. We can run a golden line up to Jesus Christ Himself, through a holy succession of mighty fathers, who all held these glorious truths; and we can ask concerning them, "Where will you find holier and better men in the world?" No doctrine is so calculated to preserve a man from sin as the doctrine of the grace of God. Those who have called it "a licentious doctrine" did not know anything at all about it. Poor ignorant things, they little knew that their own vile stuff was the most licentious doctrine under Heaven. If they knew the grace of God in truth, they would soon see that there was no preservative from lying like a knowledge that we are elect of God from the foundation of the world. There is nothing like a belief in my eternal perseverance, and the immutability of my Father's affection, which can keep me near to Him from a motive of simple gratitude. Nothing makes a man so virtuous as belief of the truth. A lying doctrine will soon beget a lying practice. A man cannot have an erroneous belief without by-and-by having an erroneous life. I believe the one thing naturally begets the other. Of all men, those have the most disinterested piety, the sublimest reverence, the most ardent devotion, who believe that they are saved by grace, without works, through faith, and that not of themselves, it is the gift of God. Christians should take heed, and see that it always is so, lest by any means Christ should be crucified afresh, and put to an open shame.
It is a great thing to begin the Christian life by believing good solid doctrine. Some people have received twenty different "gospels" in as many years; how many more they will accept before they get to their journey's end, it would be difficult to predict. I thank God that He early taught me the gospel, and I have been so perfectly satisfied with it, that I do not want to know any other. Constant change of creed is sure loss. If a tree has to be taken up two or three times a year, you will not need to build a very large loft in which to store the apples. When people are always shifting their doctrinal principles, they are not likely to bring forth much fruit to the glory of God. It is good for young believers to begin with a firm hold upon those great fundamental doctrines which the Lord has taught in His Word. Why, if I believed what some preach about the temporary, trumpery salvation which only lasts for a time, I would scarcely be at all grateful for it; but when I know that those whom God saves He saves with an everlasting salvation, when I know that He gives to them an everlasting righteousness, when I know that He settles them on an everlasting foundation of everlasting love, and that He will bring them to His everlasting kingdom, oh, then I do wonder, and I am astonished that such a blessing as this should ever have been given to me!
"Pause, my soul! adore, and wonder!Ask, 'Oh, why such love to me?'Grace hath put me in the numberOf the Saviour's family:Hallelujah!Thanks, eternal thanks, to Thee!"I suppose there are some persons whose minds naturally incline towards the doctrine of free-will. I can only say that mine inclines as naturally towards the doctrines of sovereign grace. Sometimes, when I see some of the worst characters in the street, I feel as if my heart must burst forth in tears of gratitude that God has never let me act as they have done! I have thought, if God had left me alone, and had not touched me by His grace, what a great sinner I should have been! I should have run to the utmost lengths of sin, dived into the very depths of evil, nor should I have stopped at any vice or folly, if God had not restrained me. I feel that I should have been a very king of sinners, if God had let me alone. I cannot understand the reason why I am saved, except upon the ground that God would have it so. I cannot, if I look ever so earnestly, discover any kind of reason in myself why I should be a partaker of Divine grace. If I am not at this moment without Christ, it is only because Christ Jesus would have His will with me, and that will was that I should be with Him where He is, and should share His glory. I can put the crown nowhere but upon the head of Him whose mighty grace has saved me from going down into the pit. Looking back on my past life, I can see that the dawning of it all was of God; of God effectively. I took no torch with which to light the sun, but the sun enlightened me. I did not commence my spiritual life—no, I rather kicked, and struggled against the things of the Spirit: when He drew me, for a time I did not run after Him: there was a natural hatred in my soul of everything holy and good. Wooings were lost upon me—warnings were cast to the wind—thunders were despised; and as for the whispers of His love, they were rejected as being less than nothing and vanity. But, sure I am, I can say now, speaking on behalf of myself, "He only is my salvation." It was He who turned my heart, and brought me down on my knees before Him. I can in very deed, say with Doddridge and Toplady—
"Grace taught my soul to pray,And made my eyes o'erflow;"and coming to this moment, I can add—
"'Tis grace has kept me to this day,And will not let me go."Well can I remember the manner in which I learned the doctrines of grace in a single instant. Born, as all of us are by nature, an Arminian, I still believed the old things I had heard continually from the pulpit, and did not see the grace of God. When I was coming to Christ, I thought I was doing it all myself, and though I sought the Lord earnestly, I had no idea the Lord was seeking me. I do not think the young convert is at first aware of this. I can recall the very day and hour when first I received those truths in my own soul—when they were, as John Bunyan says, burnt into my heart as with a hot iron, and I can recollect how I felt that I had grown on a sudden from a babe into a man—that I had made progress in Scriptural knowledge, through having found, once for all, the clue to the truth of God. One week-night, when I was sitting in the house of God, I was not thinking much about the preacher's sermon, for I did not believe it. The thought struck me, How did you come to be a Christian? I sought the Lord. But how did you come to seek the Lord? The truth flashed across my mind in a moment—I should not have sought Him unless there had been some previous influence in my mind to make me seek Him. I prayed, thought I, but then I asked myself, How came I to pray? I was induced to pray by reading the Scriptures. How came I to read the Scriptures? I did read them, but what led me to do so? Then, in a moment, I saw that God was at the bottom of it all, and that He was the Author of my faith, and so the whole doctrine of grace opened up to me, and from that doctrine I have not departed to this day, and I desire to make this my constant confession, "I ascribe my change wholly to God."I once attended a service where the text happened to be, "He shall choose our inheritance for us;" and the good man who occupied the pulpit was more than a little of an Arminian. Therefore, when he commenced, he said, "This passage refers entirely to our temporal inheritance, it has nothing whatever to do with our everlasting destiny, for," said he, "we do not want Christ to choose for us in the matter of Heaven or hell. It is so plain and easy, that every man who has a grain of common sense will choose Heaven, and any person would know better than to choose hell. We have no need of any superior intelligence, or any greater Being, to choose Heaven or hell for us. It is left to our own free-will, and we have enough wisdom given us, sufficiently correct means to judge for ourselves," and therefore, as he very logically inferred, there was no necessity for Jesus Christ, or anyone, to make a choice for us. We could choose the inheritance for ourselves without any assistance. "Ah!" I thought, "but, my good brother, it may be very true that we could, but I think we should want something more than common sense before we should choose aright."First, let me ask, must we not all of us admit an over-ruling Providence, and the appointment of Jehovah's hand, as to the means whereby we came into this world? Those men who think that, afterwards, we are left to our own free-will to choose this one or the other to direct our steps, must admit that our entrance into the world was not of our own will, but that God had then to choose for us. What circumstances were those in our power which led us to elect certain persons to be our parents? Had we anything to do with it? Did not God Himself appoint our parents, native place, and friends? Could He not have caused me to be born with the skin of the Hottentot, brought forth by a filthy mother who would nurse me in her "kraal," and teach me to bow down to Pagan gods, quite as easily as to have given me a pious mother, who would each morning and night bend her knee in prayer on my behalf? Or, might He not, if He had pleased, have given me some profligate to have been my parent, from whose lips I might have early heard fearful, filthy, and obscene language? Might He not have placed me where I should have had a drunken father, who would have immured me in a very dungeon of ignorance, and brought me up in the chains of crime? Was it not God's Providence that I had so happy a lot, that both my parents were His children, and endeavoured to train me up in the fear of the Lord?John Newton used to tell a whimsical story, and laugh at it, too, of a good woman who said, in order to prove the doctrine of election, "Ah! sir, the Lord must have loved me before I was born, or else He would not have seen anything in me to love afterwards." I am sure it is true in my case; I believe the doctrine of election, because I am quite certain that, if God had not chosen me, I should never have chosen Him; and I am sure He chose me before I was born, or else He never would have chosen me afterwards; and He must have elected me for reasons unknown to me, for I never could find any reason in myself why He should have looked upon me with special love. So I am forced to accept that great Biblical doctrine. I recollect an Arminian brother telling me that he had read the Scriptures through a score or more times, and could never find the doctrine of election in them. He added that he was sure he would have done so if it had been there, for he read the Word on his knees. I said to him, "I think you read the Bible in a very uncomfortable posture, and if you had read it in your easy chair, you would have been more likely to understand it. Pray, by all means, and the more, the better, but it is a piece of superstition to think there is anything in the posture in which a man puts himself for reading: and as to reading through the Bible twenty times without having found anything about the doctrine of election, the wonder is that you found anything at all: you must have galloped through it at such a rate that you were not likely to have any intelligible idea of the meaning of the Scriptures."If it would be marvelous to see one river leap up from the earth full-grown, what would it be to gaze upon a vast spring from which all the rivers of the earth should at once come bubbling up, a million of them born at a birth? What a vision would it be! Who can conceive it. And yet the love of God is that fountain, from which all the rivers of mercy, which have ever gladdened our race—all the rivers of grace in time, and of glory hereafter—take their rise. My soul, stand thou at that sacred fountain-head, and adore and magnify, for ever and ever, God, even our Father, who hath loved us! In the very beginning, when this great universe lay in the mind of God, like unborn forests in the acorn cup; long ere the echoes awoke the solitudes; before the mountains were brought forth; and long ere the light flashed through the sky, God loved His chosen creatures. Before there was any created being—when the ether was not fanned by an angel's wing, when space itself had not an existence, when there was nothing save God alone—even then, in that loneliness of Deity, and in that deep quiet and profundity, His bowels moved with love for His chosen. Their names were written on His heart, and then were they dear to His soul. Jesus loved His people before the foundation of the world—even from eternity! and when He called me by His grace, He said to me, "I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee."Then, in the fulness of time, He purchased me with His blood; He let His heart run out in one deep gaping wound for me long ere I loved Him. Yea, when He first came to me, did I not spurn Him? When He knocked at the door, and asked for entrance, did I not drive Him away, and do despite to His grace? Ah, I can remember that I full often did so until, at last, by the power of His effectual grace, He said, "I must, I will come in;" and then He turned my heart, and made me love Him. But even till now I should have resisted Him, had it not been for His grace. Well, then since He purchased me when I was dead in sins, does it not follow, as a consequence necessary and logical, that He must have loved me first? Did my Saviour die for me because I believed on Him? No; I was not then in existence; I had then no being. Could the Saviour, therefore, have died because I had faith, when I myself was not yet born? Could that have been possible? Could that have been the origin of the Saviour's love towards me? Oh! no; my Saviour died for me long before I believed. "But," says someone, "He foresaw that you would have faith; and, therefore, He loved you." What did He foresee about my faith? Did He foresee that I should get that faith myself, and that I should believe on Him of myself? No; Christ could not foresee that, because no Christian man will ever say that faith came of itself without the gift and without the working of the Holy Spirit. I have met with a great many believers, and talked with them about this matter; but I never knew one who could put his hand on his heart, and say, "I believed in Jesus without the assistance of the Holy Spirit."I am bound to the doctrine of the depravity of the human heart, because I find myself depraved in heart, and have daily proofs that in my flesh there dwelleth no good thing. If God enters into covenant with unfallen man, man is so insignificant a creature that it must be an act of gracious condescension on the Lord's part; but if God enters into covenant with sinful man, he is then so offensive a creature that it must be, on God's part, an act of pure, free, rich, sovereign grace. When the Lord entered into covenant with me, I am sure that it was all of grace, nothing else but grace. When I remember what a den of unclean beasts and birds my heart was, and how strong was my unrenewed will, how obstinate and rebellious against the sovereignty of the Divine rule, I always feel inclined to take the very lowest room in my Father's house, and when I enter Heaven, it will be to go among the less than the least of all saints, and with the chief of sinners.The late lamented Mr. Denham has put, at the foot of his portrait, a most admirable text, "Salvation is of the Lord." That is just an epitome of Calvinism; it is the sum and substance of it. If anyone should ask me what I mean by a Calvinist, I should reply, "He is one who says, Salvation is of the Lord." I cannot find in Scripture any other doctrine than this. It is the essence of the Bible. "He only is my rock and my salvation." Tell me anything contrary to this truth, and it will be a heresy; tell me a heresy, and I shall find its essence here, that it has departed from this great, this fundamental, this rock-truth, "God is my rock and my salvation." What is the heresy of Rome, but the addition of something to the perfect merits of Jesus Christ—the bringing in of the works of the flesh, to assist in our justification? And what is the heresy of Arminianism but the addition of something to the work of the Redeemer? Every heresy, if brought to the touchstone, will discover itself here. I have my own private opinion that there is no such thing as preaching Christ and Him crucified, unless we preach what nowadays is called Calvinism. It is a nickname to call it Calvinism; Calvinism is the gospel, and nothing else. I do not believe we can preach the gospel, if we do not preach justification by faith, without works; nor unless we preach the sovereignty of God in His dispensation of grace; nor unless we exalt the electing, unchangeable, eternal, immutable, conquering love of Jehovah; nor do I think we can preach the gospel, unless we base it upon the special and particular redemption of His elect and chosen people which Christ wrought out upon the cross; nor can I comprehend a gospel which lets saints fall away after they are called, and suffers the children of God to be burned in the fires of damnation after having once believed in Jesus. Such a gospel I abhor.
"If ever it should come to pass,That sheep of Christ might fall away,My fickle, feeble soul, alas!Would fall a thousand times a day."If one dear saint of God had perished, so might all; if one of the covenant ones be lost, so may all be; and then there is no gospel promise true, but the Bible is a lie, and there is nothing in it worth my acceptance. I will be an infidel at once when I can believe that a saint of God can ever fall finally. If God hath loved me once, then He will love me for ever. God has a master-mind; He arranged everything in His gigantic intellect long before He did it; and once having settled it, He never alters it, "This shall be done," saith He, and the iron hand of destiny marks it down, and it is brought to pass. "This is My purpose," and it stands, nor can earth or hell alter it. "This is My decree," saith He, "promulgate it, ye holy angels; rend it down from the gate of Heaven, ye devils, if ye can; but ye cannot alter the decree, it shall stand for ever." God altereth not His plans; why should He? He is Almighty, and therefore can perform His pleasure. Why should He? He is the All-wise, and therefore cannot have planned wrongly. Why should He? He is the everlasting God, and therefore cannot die before His plan is accomplished. Why should He change? Ye worthless atoms of earth, ephemera of a day, ye creeping insects upon this bay-leaf of existence, ye may change your plans, but He shall never, never change His. Has He told me that His plan is to save me? If so, I am for ever safe.
"My name from the palms of His handsEternity will not erase;Impress'd on His heart it remains,In marks of indelible grace."I do not know how some people, who believe that a Christian can fall from grace, manage to be happy. It must be a very commendable thing in them to be able to get through a day without despair. If I did not believe the doctrine of the final perseverance of the saints, I think I should be of all men the most miserable, because I should lack any ground of comfort. I could not say, whatever state of heart I came into, that I should be like a well-spring of water, whose stream fails not; I should rather have to take the comparison of an intermittent spring, that might stop on a sudden, or a reservoir, which I had no reason to expect would always be full. I believe that the happiest of Christians and the truest of Christians are those who never dare to doubt God, but who take His Word simply as it stands, and believe it, and ask no questions, just feeling assured that if God has said it, it will be so. I bear my willing testimony that I have no reason, nor even the shadow of a reason, to doubt my Lord, and I challenge Heaven, and earth, and hell, to bring any proof that God is untrue. From the depths of hell I call the fiends, and from this earth I call the tried and afflicted believers, and to Heaven I appeal, and challenge the long experience of the blood-washed host, and there is not to be found in the three realms a single person who can bear witness to one fact which can disprove the faithfulness of God, or weaken His claim to be trusted by His servants. There are many things that may or may not happen, but this I know shall happen—
"He shall present my soul,Unblemish'd and complete,Before the glory of His face,With joys divinely great."All the purposes of man have been defeated, but not the purposes of God. The promises of man may be broken—many of them are made to be broken—but the promises of God shall all be fulfilled. He is a promise-maker, but He never was a promise-breaker; He is a promise-keeping God, and every one of His people shall prove it to be so. This is my grateful, personal confidence, "The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me"—unworthy me, lost and ruined me. He will yet save me; and—
"I, among the blood-wash'd throng,Shall wave the palm, and wear the crown,And shout loud victory."I go to a land which the plough of earth hath never upturned, where it is greener than earth's best pastures, and richer than her most abundant harvests ever saw. I go to a building of more gorgeous architecture than man hath ever builded; it is not of mortal design; it is "a building of God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the Heavens." All I shall know and enjoy in Heaven, will be given to me by the Lord, and I shall say, when at last I appear before Him—
"Grace all the work shall crownThrough everlasting days;It lays in Heaven the topmost stone,And well deserves the praise."I know there are some who think it necessary to their system of theology to limit the merit of the blood of Jesus: if my theological system needed such a limitation, I would cast it to the winds. I cannot, I dare not allow the thought to find a lodging in my mind, it seems so near akin to blasphemy. In Christ's finished work I see an ocean of merit; my plummet finds no bottom, my eye discovers no shore. There must be sufficient efficacy in the blood of Christ, if God had so willed it, to have saved not only all in this world, but all in ten thousand worlds, had they transgressed their Maker's law. Once admit infinity into the matter, and limit is out of the question. Having a Divine Person for an offering, it is not consistent to conceive of limited value; bound and measure are terms inapplicable to the Divine sacrifice. The intent of the Divine purpose fixes the application of the infinite offering, but does not change it into a finite work. Think of the numbers upon whom God has bestowed His grace already. Think of the countless hosts in Heaven: if thou wert introduced there to-day, thou wouldst find it as easy to tell the stars, or the sands of the sea, as to count the multitudes that are before the throne even now. They have come from the East, and from the West, from the North, and from the South, and they are sitting down with Abraham, and with Isaac, and with Jacob in the Kingdom of God; and beside those in Heaven, think of the saved ones on earth. Blessed be God, His elect on earth are to be counted by millions, I believe, and the days are coming, brighter days than these, when there shall be multitudes upon multitudes brought to know the Saviour, and to rejoice in Him. The Father's love is not for a few only, but for an exceeding great company. "A great multitude, which no man could number," will be found in Heaven. A man can reckon up to very high figures; set to work your Newtons, your mightiest calculators, and they can count great numbers, but God and God alone can tell the multitude of His redeemed. I believe there will be more in Heaven than in hell. If anyone asks me why I think so, I answer, because Christ, in everything, is to "have the pre-eminence," and I cannot conceive how He could have the pre-eminence if there are to be more in the dominions of Satan than in Paradise. Moreover, I have never read that there is to be in hell a great multitude, which no man could number. I rejoice to know that the souls of all infants, as soon as they die, speed their way to Paradise. Think what a multitude there is of them! Then there are already in Heaven unnumbered myriads of the spirits of just men made perfect—the redeemed of all nations, and kindreds, and people, and tongues up till now; and there are better times coming, when the religion of Christ shall be universal; when—
"He shall reign from pole to pole,With illimitable sway;"when whole kingdoms shall bow down before Him, and nations shall be born in a day, and in the thousand years of the great millennial state there will be enough saved to make up all the deficiencies of the thousands of years that have gone before. Christ shall be Master everywhere, and His praise shall be sounded in every land. Christ shall have the pre-eminence at last; His train shall be far larger than that which shall attend the chariot of the grim monarch of hell.Some persons love the doctrine of universal atonement because they say, "It is so beautiful. It is a lovely idea that Christ should have died for all men; it commends itself," they say, "to the instincts of humanity; there is something in it full of joy and beauty." I admit there is, but beauty may be often associated with falsehood. There is much which I might admire in the theory of universal redemption, but I will just show what the supposition necessarily involves. If Christ on His cross intended to save every man, then He intended to save those who were lost before He died. If the doctrine be true, that He died for all men, then He died for some who were in hell before He came into this world, for doubtless there were even then myriads there who had been cast away because of their sins. Once again, if it was Christ's intention to save all men, how deplorably has He been disappointed, for we have His own testimony that there is a lake which burneth with fire and brimstone, and into that pit of woe have been cast some of the very persons who, according to the theory of universal redemption, were bought with His blood. That seems to me a conception a thousand times more repulsive than any of those consequences which are said to be associated with the Calvinistic and Christian doctrine of special and particular redemption. To think that my Saviour died for men who were or are in hell, seems a supposition too horrible for me to entertain. To imagine for a moment that He was the Substitute for all the sons of men, and that God, having first punished the Substitute, afterwards punished the sinners themselves, seems to conflict with all my ideas of Divine justice. That Christ should offer an atonement and satisfaction for the sins of all men, and that afterwards some of those very men should be punished for the sins for which Christ had already atoned, appears to me to be the most monstrous iniquity that could ever have been imputed to Saturn, to Janus, to the goddess of the Thugs, or to the most diabolical heathen deities. God forbid that we should ever think thus of Jehovah, the just and wise and good!There is no soul living who holds more firmly to the doctrines of grace than I do, and if any man asks me whether I am ashamed to be called a Calvinist, I answer—I wish to be called nothing but a Christian; but if you ask me, do I hold the doctrinal views which were held by John Calvin, I reply, I do in the main hold them, and rejoice to avow it. But far be it from me even to imagine that Zion contains none but Calvinistic Christians within her walls, or that there are none saved who do not hold our views. Most atrocious things have been spoken about the character and spiritual condition of John Wesley, the modern prince of Arminians. I can only say concerning him that, while I detest many of the doctrines which he preached, yet for the man himself I have a reverence second to no Wesleyan; and if there were wanted two apostles to be added to the number of the twelve, I do not believe that there could be found two men more fit to be so added than George Whitefield and John Wesley. The character of John Wesley stands beyond all imputation for self-sacrifice, zeal, holiness, and communion with God; he lived far above the ordinary level of common Christians, and was one "of whom the world was not worthy." I believe there are multitudes of men who cannot see these truths, or, at least, cannot see them in the way in which we put them, who nevertheless have received Christ as their Saviour, and are as dear to the heart of the God of grace as the soundest Calvinist in or out of Heaven.I do not think I differ from any of my Hyper-Calvinistic brethren in what I do believe, but I differ from them in what they do not believe. I do not hold any less than they do, but I hold a little more, and, I think, a little more of the truth revealed in the Scriptures. Not only are there a few cardinal doctrines, by which we can steer our ship North, South, East, or West, but as we study the Word, we shall begin to learn something about the North-west and North-east, and all else that lies between the four cardinal points. The system of truth revealed in the Scriptures is not simply one straight line, but two; and no man will ever get a right view of the gospel until he knows how to look at the two lines at once. For instance, I read in one Book of the Bible, "The Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely." Yet I am taught, in another part of the same inspired Word, that "it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy." I see, in one place, God in providence presiding over all, and yet I see, and I cannot help seeing, that man acts as he pleases, and that God has left his actions, in a great measure, to his own free-will. Now, if I were to declare that man was so free to act that there was no control of God over his actions, I should be driven very near to atheism; and if, on the other hand, I should declare that God so over-rules all things that man is not free enough to be responsible, I should be driven at once into Antinomianism or fatalism. That God predestines, and yet that man is responsible, are two facts that few can see clearly. They are believed to be inconsistent and contradictory to each other. If, then, I find taught in one part of the Bible that everything is fore-ordained, that is true; and if I find, in another Scripture, that man is responsible for all his actions, that is true; and it is only my folly that leads me to imagine that these two truths can ever contradict each other. I do not believe they can ever be welded into one upon any earthly anvil, but they certainly shall be one in eternity. They are two lines that are so nearly parallel, that the human mind which pursues them farthest will never discover that they converge, but they do converge, and they will meet somewhere in eternity, close to the throne of God, whence all truth doth spring.It is often said that the doctrines we believe have a tendency to lead us to sin. I have heard it asserted most positively, that those high doctrines which we love, and which we find in the Scriptures, are licentious ones. I do not know who will have the hardihood to make that assertion, when they consider that the holiest of men have been believers in them. I ask the man who dares to say that Calvinism is a licentious religion, what he thinks of the character of Augustine, or Calvin, or Whitefield, who in successive ages were the great exponents of the system of grace; or what will he say of the Puritans, whose works are full of them? Had a man been an Arminian in those days, he would have been accounted the vilest heretic breathing, but now we are looked upon as the heretics, and they as the orthodox. We have gone back to the old school; we can trace our descent from the apostles. It is that vein of free-grace, running through the sermonizing of Baptists, which has saved us as a denomination. Were it not for that, we should not stand where we are today. We can run a golden line up to Jesus Christ Himself, through a holy succession of mighty fathers, who all held these glorious truths; and we can ask concerning them, "Where will you find holier and better men in the world?" No doctrine is so calculated to preserve a man from sin as the doctrine of the grace of God. Those who have called it "a licentious doctrine" did not know anything at all about it. Poor ignorant things, they little knew that their own vile stuff was the most licentious doctrine under Heaven. If they knew the grace of God in truth, they would soon see that there was no preservative from lying like a knowledge that we are elect of God from the foundation of the world. There is nothing like a belief in my eternal perseverance, and the immutability of my Father's affection, which can keep me near to Him from a motive of simple gratitude. Nothing makes a man so virtuous as belief of the truth. A lying doctrine will soon beget a lying practice. A man cannot have an erroneous belief without by-and-by having an erroneous life. I believe the one thing naturally begets the other. Of all men, those have the most disinterested piety, the sublimest reverence, the most ardent devotion, who believe that they are saved by grace, without works, through faith, and that not of themselves, it is the gift of God. Christians should take heed, and see that it always is so, lest by any means Christ should be crucified afresh, and put to an open shame.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
A Fat Temple
I looked in the mirror the other day and a horrifying thought came to mind, "I'm fat." Now, this started to worry me some so I thought on it throughout the day and then I went to lunch. I was kind of depressed so I didn't eat much. Then a revelation hit me, "Oh no, thinking you're fat is the first sign of anorexia." I could be starving to death and not even know it. Maybe that is why I can't get a date; I'm so scrawny I scare the ladies away. And then I continued to consider this and I thought, "Oh no, what is I really am fat?" I could be second away from a heart attack. Maybe the girls think I'm a disgusting blob and that is why I'm single. I couldn't ask anyone because either I'd find out I'm anorexic or huge. So I began to think of way solve this issue. Then I realized I must simply come to terms and look at the positives of one of these issues. When I was young I was told I serve a big God. When I grew older I was told that the body is the temple of God's. So why not look at being fat as simply giving God more room. So I know I am on a daily quest to fight my battle with anorexia. This I promise will eat my way to victory. Please join me in my battle.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
PMS
So I’ve been totally down the last couple of days. I just really feel like I don’t know where I belong. I started hanging out a lot this semester with a great group of people that are a lot of fun, but I always feel like an outsider like I’m intruding or something. I told this to one guy and he said I tend to push myself on people. I guess I do, but I don’t really know how or what to do to stop it. I really hate being alone, but I seem to end up that ways a lot. I’m sitting with this whole group of people and they are talking about going to a movie and not one do they even hint at seeming like I should come along. I don’t know I guess I’ve always been like this, but when I think I’m getting better about it I seem to screw it up again.
In High School it was mainly because I was a partier, but now I’m at a Christian College and I still can’t seem to fit in right. I think part of the problem is past experiences. When you become really good at hiding certain parts of your life and change who you are its hard to be yourself. Sometimes I’m not even sure I know who I am. Don’t get me wrong I know whose I am, but not really sure who I am. Such is the price of sin and a fallen world. I know I don’t deserve friends, none of us do, but yet I still strongly desire them. I know I should find my satisfaction is Christ first and then the rest will follow, but at times my faith just isn’t strong enough. I could lie and say I was, but that would just heap burning coal onto my sins. Well I guess the answer is prayer, and I know it is. Yet, I seem to feel so melancholy, which is a byproduct of sin. So I ask those few reader I may have to pray for me when I can’t seem to pray for myself.
In God we Trust (even when it is difficult),
Jason Vaughn
P.S. I realize I get like this once a month I think its like the male period or something.
In High School it was mainly because I was a partier, but now I’m at a Christian College and I still can’t seem to fit in right. I think part of the problem is past experiences. When you become really good at hiding certain parts of your life and change who you are its hard to be yourself. Sometimes I’m not even sure I know who I am. Don’t get me wrong I know whose I am, but not really sure who I am. Such is the price of sin and a fallen world. I know I don’t deserve friends, none of us do, but yet I still strongly desire them. I know I should find my satisfaction is Christ first and then the rest will follow, but at times my faith just isn’t strong enough. I could lie and say I was, but that would just heap burning coal onto my sins. Well I guess the answer is prayer, and I know it is. Yet, I seem to feel so melancholy, which is a byproduct of sin. So I ask those few reader I may have to pray for me when I can’t seem to pray for myself.
In God we Trust (even when it is difficult),
Jason Vaughn
P.S. I realize I get like this once a month I think its like the male period or something.
Friday, September 16, 2005
Dating Advice
A friend of mine at Southern Seminary posted this and I thought it deserved to be spread to more people. You can find the original post at Selah.
I write this in light of the extraordinary number of relationships related posts I have recently seen. I figure that I can take a moment away from theological posts (don't worry, it'll be in here) and write upon things from the perspective of the great hordes of single men out there--hopefully soli deo gloria. So women, this post is for you.If a guy asks you out on a date (probably to get coffee, of which you may have had more coffee in this past week with guys you don't really know than you would ever want), consider that a great honor. This man is willing to sacrifice of his time (at least a few hours) to get to know YOU better. He could have done a number of other things with his time, including, 1) homework, 2)work and earn some money, 3)hang out with his guy friends, 4)exercise, 5)go buy himself a new rifle. But he is willing to go out and most likely spend money on you.Most likely when he asks his speech is not going to be eloquent--rather, he may sound like Porky Pig studdering over every other word that proceeds from his mouth. Don't hold that against him; that is merely anxiety over the enormous task of what can seem like walking into a lion's den with nothing more than a leotard between him and the lion (it sometimes seems to men, usually fallaciously, that women are just prowling around waiting to bite your head off). If nothing else, understand that if you say 'no' or if the relationship ends up not working out, our boy here is going to be at the least a little crushed--and who knows how long he may have liked you and gotten up the nerve to ask you on one 3 hour date.I know of guys who are quite afraid to ask women on dates. These are men of whom the world is not worthy--men who love God, bear the fruit of the Spirit, will love their wives more and more everyday until they die... and who aren't that bad looking. Who knows when it could be one of these godly men who is asking you for one date. Men like this are quite rare. I'm going to be frank right now and say that you are probably not worthy of him--after all, you are a sinner who deserves hell, saved by grace alone (though I must make clear that this is a two-sided coin, this man is also a wretched sinner saved by grace, and so he is not worthy of you either--humility is a quality that is needed on both sides here). A man who will treat you like a queen is not what you deserve.If you have homework/work to do, or whatever else you have to do, then do that and let him know. But don't just make excuses (guys may be slow, but we can still see through excuses). Let him know that you would be willing to do something with him at a later time. And also, most guys are pretty flexible with when you could do stuff together. They'll make time in their schedules for you. So when they ask you when you'd like to do something, don't think that they are being passive, rather, they're probably being kind (a quality worth looking for).Now, if you really think the guy is that bad and you really dislike him that much, then gently just say 'no,' when you are asked. I'm also not suggesting that you just give anyone a chance. If you are in hearty disagreement with a man over issues you see as important (i.e. theology, life philosophy, etc), then it probably would be better to just say 'no.' Also, I'm not suggesting that you go out with the 'hanger-outer boys', who without a doubt will ask you out--but I'd imagine that they are quite easily identifiable. I'm not suggesting that you go on a date with just anybody who asks you out, but if the man seems nice, genuine, godly (this is addressed primarily to Christian women), respectful, sweet (i.e. opens the doors for you, speaks kindly, asks how your day went), and you don't think he's drop-dead ugly, then give him at least one date--who knows, you may just find the diamond in the rough.
I write this in light of the extraordinary number of relationships related posts I have recently seen. I figure that I can take a moment away from theological posts (don't worry, it'll be in here) and write upon things from the perspective of the great hordes of single men out there--hopefully soli deo gloria. So women, this post is for you.If a guy asks you out on a date (probably to get coffee, of which you may have had more coffee in this past week with guys you don't really know than you would ever want), consider that a great honor. This man is willing to sacrifice of his time (at least a few hours) to get to know YOU better. He could have done a number of other things with his time, including, 1) homework, 2)work and earn some money, 3)hang out with his guy friends, 4)exercise, 5)go buy himself a new rifle. But he is willing to go out and most likely spend money on you.Most likely when he asks his speech is not going to be eloquent--rather, he may sound like Porky Pig studdering over every other word that proceeds from his mouth. Don't hold that against him; that is merely anxiety over the enormous task of what can seem like walking into a lion's den with nothing more than a leotard between him and the lion (it sometimes seems to men, usually fallaciously, that women are just prowling around waiting to bite your head off). If nothing else, understand that if you say 'no' or if the relationship ends up not working out, our boy here is going to be at the least a little crushed--and who knows how long he may have liked you and gotten up the nerve to ask you on one 3 hour date.I know of guys who are quite afraid to ask women on dates. These are men of whom the world is not worthy--men who love God, bear the fruit of the Spirit, will love their wives more and more everyday until they die... and who aren't that bad looking. Who knows when it could be one of these godly men who is asking you for one date. Men like this are quite rare. I'm going to be frank right now and say that you are probably not worthy of him--after all, you are a sinner who deserves hell, saved by grace alone (though I must make clear that this is a two-sided coin, this man is also a wretched sinner saved by grace, and so he is not worthy of you either--humility is a quality that is needed on both sides here). A man who will treat you like a queen is not what you deserve.If you have homework/work to do, or whatever else you have to do, then do that and let him know. But don't just make excuses (guys may be slow, but we can still see through excuses). Let him know that you would be willing to do something with him at a later time. And also, most guys are pretty flexible with when you could do stuff together. They'll make time in their schedules for you. So when they ask you when you'd like to do something, don't think that they are being passive, rather, they're probably being kind (a quality worth looking for).Now, if you really think the guy is that bad and you really dislike him that much, then gently just say 'no,' when you are asked. I'm also not suggesting that you just give anyone a chance. If you are in hearty disagreement with a man over issues you see as important (i.e. theology, life philosophy, etc), then it probably would be better to just say 'no.' Also, I'm not suggesting that you go out with the 'hanger-outer boys', who without a doubt will ask you out--but I'd imagine that they are quite easily identifiable. I'm not suggesting that you go on a date with just anybody who asks you out, but if the man seems nice, genuine, godly (this is addressed primarily to Christian women), respectful, sweet (i.e. opens the doors for you, speaks kindly, asks how your day went), and you don't think he's drop-dead ugly, then give him at least one date--who knows, you may just find the diamond in the rough.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Soli Deo Gloria
I hate sin. More than that I hate sinning. Daily I find myself right back in the same sinking boat. Sins that I have struggles with for years continue to raise their ugly heads and at one little temptation there I go falling into it again. Like Paul says in Romans 7:15 “I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” Oh how dreadful our nature. Even though we are new creations that old flesh continues to rise up. We know how awful this sin is and yet we continue to do it. We exchange the very glory of God for the guilt of sin. Oh how merciful our God is not to destroy us. Why He would suffer the pain of the cross I cannot fathom.
God let us be set free as you promise and command us to be. Let us live and be satisfied in your glory alone. We thank you for this in the name of Christ, Amen.
In God we Trust,
Jason Vaughn
God let us be set free as you promise and command us to be. Let us live and be satisfied in your glory alone. We thank you for this in the name of Christ, Amen.
In God we Trust,
Jason Vaughn
Sunday, September 11, 2005
In Honor
In honor of 9/11 and Katrina:
From the smoldering rubble, we rise,
From the well of bitter tears, we rise,
From the night that seemed without end,
From the day blackened with blood and fire,
We rise…
We give thanks for the light,
prayers for the souls gone abruptly to God;
We give thanks for the magic and majesty
that shines even in the face of madness.
From the storied cities, we rise,
From the bountiful fields, we rise,
From the crucible of peace and justice,
From the land of the free and the freedmen,
We rise…
(Not original to me)
From the smoldering rubble, we rise,
From the well of bitter tears, we rise,
From the night that seemed without end,
From the day blackened with blood and fire,
We rise…
We give thanks for the light,
prayers for the souls gone abruptly to God;
We give thanks for the magic and majesty
that shines even in the face of madness.
From the storied cities, we rise,
From the bountiful fields, we rise,
From the crucible of peace and justice,
From the land of the free and the freedmen,
We rise…
(Not original to me)
Saturday, September 10, 2005
take action
So I was trying to think of something good to create conversation and I figured affirmative action abolishment would do the trick. So this will be short bur I want to get your thoughts on it.
I understand why affirmative action was started and it was probably needed at the time, but I really do think its time has passed. Having racial quotas is not only unconstitutional it is harmful to race relations in this country. Hiring should not be based on race, but on qualifications. If a company has a position open and a more qualified white man applies versus an unqualified black man a company should not have to suffer simply because of a quota. Now I realize that racism is still a problem, but I do not think a broad sweeping regulation such as affirmative action should be in place. I believe that each company where discrimination is taking place should be investigated, and if the allegations are true that company should be severely punished by the court of law.
Understand, I am not coming at this out of racism, but the opposite. Affirmative action creates a sense that certain people need help because they aren’t good enough to be hired on their own. It creates government sponsored racism.
If any of my brothers and sisters in Christ are reading this and you struggle with racism, whether black, white, hispanic, or asian , I strongly encourage you to repent because if we cannot show each other love then we cannot love Christ.
I understand why affirmative action was started and it was probably needed at the time, but I really do think its time has passed. Having racial quotas is not only unconstitutional it is harmful to race relations in this country. Hiring should not be based on race, but on qualifications. If a company has a position open and a more qualified white man applies versus an unqualified black man a company should not have to suffer simply because of a quota. Now I realize that racism is still a problem, but I do not think a broad sweeping regulation such as affirmative action should be in place. I believe that each company where discrimination is taking place should be investigated, and if the allegations are true that company should be severely punished by the court of law.
Understand, I am not coming at this out of racism, but the opposite. Affirmative action creates a sense that certain people need help because they aren’t good enough to be hired on their own. It creates government sponsored racism.
If any of my brothers and sisters in Christ are reading this and you struggle with racism, whether black, white, hispanic, or asian , I strongly encourage you to repent because if we cannot show each other love then we cannot love Christ.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Do we Deserve Better?
I was watching Fox News earlier and Shepherd Smith was speaking about how amazing the devastation was in New Orleans. He was astonished at how one storm could cause so much damage. Many people view this through the same eyes as him. When we watch the aftermath play out we grieve with these people. We long to help. We stand amazed at the horror, but we must remember that the horror is not at the lives lost or the property destroyed. The true horror in all this is that our world is so fallen that God in His righteousness sends forth such destruction.
Some people, including Christians, are asking themselves where God was in this tragedy. The answer is simple: God was there in the disaster. Nothing happens outside His sovereign control. Every atom is known and structured and created by His hands. This hurricane was created and submissive to the Lord of the universe. Some people cry in horror when they consider that the loving God set forth in Scripture would do such a thing.
To all who read this, we are occupants of a fallen world. This affects every aspect of our lives. Many have wondered if Hurricane Katrina was not an act of God to judge the city as He did Sodom and Gomorrah. If this were true then the hurricane should have destroyed each and every one of us as well. Let us not forget the words of Christ in Luke 13:1-5
“Now there were some present at that time who told Jesus about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mixed with their sacrifices. Jesus answered, "Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered this way? I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish. Or those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them—do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem? I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish."
We stand as guilty as anyone that city. The only difference is God still has His hand of mercy on us. To all those who watch the death count rise and wonder what your response should be this tragedy I will happily tell you: Repent lest the same should befall you. The Lord has given us the opportunity to turn from wickedness and so we must. We can send aid and money, but our primary duty is to turn to God and lead others to His infinite mercy. We deserve the destruction Katrina brought, and we must be thankful that compared to the entire world there was so little left to ruin. At every moment of our life God is sending out both His wrath and His grace up the world. Both demonstrations of His character are meant for one end: the complete redemption of His people.
God you are gracious and merciful and we thank you for sparing us and calling us out of our sin. May we lean on your truths in our moments of despair. And may we take the message of your grace to world. Amen.
Some people, including Christians, are asking themselves where God was in this tragedy. The answer is simple: God was there in the disaster. Nothing happens outside His sovereign control. Every atom is known and structured and created by His hands. This hurricane was created and submissive to the Lord of the universe. Some people cry in horror when they consider that the loving God set forth in Scripture would do such a thing.
To all who read this, we are occupants of a fallen world. This affects every aspect of our lives. Many have wondered if Hurricane Katrina was not an act of God to judge the city as He did Sodom and Gomorrah. If this were true then the hurricane should have destroyed each and every one of us as well. Let us not forget the words of Christ in Luke 13:1-5
“Now there were some present at that time who told Jesus about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mixed with their sacrifices. Jesus answered, "Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered this way? I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish. Or those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them—do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem? I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish."
We stand as guilty as anyone that city. The only difference is God still has His hand of mercy on us. To all those who watch the death count rise and wonder what your response should be this tragedy I will happily tell you: Repent lest the same should befall you. The Lord has given us the opportunity to turn from wickedness and so we must. We can send aid and money, but our primary duty is to turn to God and lead others to His infinite mercy. We deserve the destruction Katrina brought, and we must be thankful that compared to the entire world there was so little left to ruin. At every moment of our life God is sending out both His wrath and His grace up the world. Both demonstrations of His character are meant for one end: the complete redemption of His people.
God you are gracious and merciful and we thank you for sparing us and calling us out of our sin. May we lean on your truths in our moments of despair. And may we take the message of your grace to world. Amen.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Choosing a church
So I attend a small Southern Baptist church. Several college students attend this church, but due its location to our school it should be packed out. Now there are probably about 20 members of this congregation. They are some of the greatest people I have ever known, and I think all of them are either retired are close to it. Now a good friend of mine that I respect, and myself were talking about why so few students attend. Now my view is because there are so few ministries and studies students can be involved in. My friend’s main argument was that it is due to the worship. The interim minister of music is a great guy but he is always off key and we always do traditional hymns with piano accompaniment. I personally love old hymns and a even the organ, but I know I’m strange. So my question is: Do you really choose a church based on the style of music? I mean some people were rather forsake the fellowship than go to a traditional church. I personally love hymns so before you say that’s the reason I go understand that I use to attend True Life which is one of the most contemporary churches in the area, but it had good teaching from Pastor Joel Rainey. So am I just that weird that the doctrine of truth be more important than whether our music style began in the 1950s or whether it began in the 1970s? I know God gave people specific tastes, but I can’t understand why we would break fellowship over such a trivial issue. It seems so “me” focused. “This is how I worship in music.” If that is mindset you start from then what you are doing is not God-centered worship nor is it any kind of worship. In your home you decide what is your own style, but in the church you worship however possible. Now if there are two churches you are choosing between and both are equally doctrinal true then of course you should choose the one that fits your personality, but if you go in with the attitude is this what makes me comfortable and not is this where I can grow in my walk with Christ then you are committing a terrible fallacy. This isn’t easy to do. I personally have a hard time going into a very contemporary church and looking past that to worship and learn, but it must be done. We who are servants of Christ cannot be more concerned about our own style than we are about the doctrines of Christ. Both groups must be willing to look beyond such trivialities to expand the gospel of Christ. More on this later, but I would really like to hear your thought on this in the blog section. How do you choose a church?
Ministry Opportunity
I just found out that the Palmetto Expo Center in Greenville, SC may be taking in refugees. If that happens I would like to do some ministry there and consider starting a church there. If anyone in the area would like to help e-mail me. Also, please remember the family of Supreme Court Justice William Rehnquist as he just passed away.
Saturday, September 03, 2005
New Orleans
I want to help. It’s killing me watching the news and knowing I’m helpless. I would send money but I have none. I tried to go. I called several different groups to hook up with and I couldn’t. I try praying and I break into tears. God help us, please. I don’t know anything else to say, or if anything else can be said. We are going over Fall Break so if you want to go tell me. I just don’t know though.
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